Your parent still owns the house after taking out a reverse mortgage. The lender has a security interest in it, and the borrower must keep meeting the loan’s conditions. For a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage, those conditions generally include paying property charges, maintaining the house and using it as the borrower’s principal residence. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau explains these continuing duties in the federal guidance collected on our Sources page.

Your immediate job is not to decide whether the house should be sold. It is to find out who owns each recurring task and whether an absence for care has changed the occupancy facts.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

Start with the loan, not the family’s memory

Find the reverse mortgage note, mortgage or deed of trust, closing package and latest servicing statement. Confirm whether the loan is a federally insured Home Equity Conversion Mortgage or another kind of reverse mortgage. The rules for a private loan may differ, so its documents and servicer control.

Write down the loan number, servicer’s telephone number, correspondence address and the names shown as borrowers. Do not assume a spouse is a co-borrower because the spouse lives there, appears on the deed or attended the closing. Look for the spouse’s status in the loan papers.

Then call the servicer with the borrower present, unless the servicer has already accepted your authority. Ask:

“Which property charges do you pay from a set-aside, and which must the borrower pay directly?”

“When is the next annual occupancy certification due, and where will you send it?”

“What notice do you require if the borrower is temporarily away for medical care?”

“Who is listed as a co-borrower or eligible non-borrowing spouse?”

“Is any tax, insurance, association charge, repair request or occupancy document outstanding?”

Record the representative’s name, the call reference number and exactly what the servicer says it still needs. A telephone answer does not amend the loan. Ask for written confirmation when the answer affects occupancy, default or a spouse’s right to remain.

Assign every property charge

A reverse mortgage does not make property taxes, homeowners insurance or repairs disappear. Depending on the property, required charges may also include flood insurance, condominium charges, homeowners association charges, ground rent or assessments. The CFPB identifies these obligations in its reverse mortgage guidance, linked through Sources.

Make a one-page payment register with five columns: charge, account number, payer, due point and proof. Use the actual tax bill, policy declaration and association statement. Do not write “automatic” without identifying the bank account and checking the next statement.

If the servicer uses loan proceeds to pay some charges, verify that arrangement on the servicing statement. Ask how you will be notified if the reserved amount becomes insufficient. If your parent pays directly, keep the paid tax receipt, insurance renewal declaration and payment confirmation together. The declaration page matters because it shows the insured property, coverage period and mortgage information.

Send the insurer any mailing-address change required by the policy. Ask the insurer whether an extended absence, a vacancy or another person moving into the house requires notice. You are asking what the contract requires, not asking the insurer to decide where your parent should receive care.

Keep an occupancy log while care changes

For a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage, principal-residence status is a loan condition. The CFPB says a borrower who is away for more than two months but less than six months, with no co-borrower living in the home, should notify the lender or servicer. A non-medical absence beyond six months can make the loan due. An absence from the home for more than twelve consecutive months in a health care facility can also make the loan due when no co-borrower remains. Spouse protections depend on the loan and the spouse’s documented status, so do not generalize from a neighbor’s reverse mortgage.

Create an occupancy log as soon as your parent leaves home. Record where your parent is staying, the first night away, whether the absence is for health care, any nights spent back at home and who continues to occupy the house. Keep facility admission and discharge papers, but send medical information to the servicer only when it requests information relevant to the loan.

Watch for the annual occupancy certification. The servicer uses that form to confirm that the property remains the principal residence. Save the completed copy and delivery proof. If the form arrives with an incorrect statement, do not sign it merely to keep the file moving. Call the servicer and request the correct way to report the facts.

If no borrower lives in the house, or if the absence may cross a contractual limit, stop relying on an informal answer. Ask the servicer for its written determination and contact a HUD-approved housing counselor. If the servicer declares the loan due, threatens foreclosure or disputes a spouse’s status, that is the line where a qualified housing lawyer takes over.

Own the repair file

Keep the property safe, insured and in the condition required by the loan. Build a repair log with the reported problem, photographs, contractor estimate, authorization, invoice and proof of payment. If the servicer orders repairs or announces an inspection, keep the entire notice and ask in writing which condition must be corrected, what proof will close the item and where that proof must be sent.

Do not use loan proceeds, hire a contractor or sign financing merely because someone says the reverse mortgage requires immediate work. Match the demand to a written servicer notice or a documented property problem. For a large contract, title issue or dispute about who may authorize work, take the papers to a lawyer before signing.

Build a ninety-day runway

Open the file every month even when care is consuming your attention. Check the servicer statement, tax account, insurance status, association account, mail at the house and repair log. Confirm that the utilities needed to protect the property remain on.

Look ahead for the next tax bill, insurance renewal, occupancy certification and expected end of a rehabilitation or facility stay. Put each item on a shared calendar with one named owner and a backup. “The family” is not an owner.

If you are using a power of attorney, ask the servicer what it requires before it will discuss the account or accept instructions. Its review of that document is separate from the question of whether the agent may take a particular action under Missouri law. Do not transfer title, add someone to the deed or sign a sale contract as a workaround. A title change can affect the loan, and that decision belongs with a Missouri lawyer.

Use free help before the file becomes urgent

A HUD-approved housing counselor can help you identify the loan type, understand servicing notices and prepare questions for the servicer. The CFPB directs reverse mortgage borrowers to HUD-approved counseling, and the federal source is listed on our Sources page.

For help locating aging services or possible home-repair assistance, start with Local Help With Paying for Care. Bring the loan statement, tax bill, insurance declaration, occupancy notices and your question list. A counselor can help you organize the problem. A counselor does not replace a lawyer in a foreclosure, title or disputed spouse-status matter.

Your working file should end with six things you can prove: who the borrowers are, who occupies the house, who pays each property charge, whether insurance is active, what repairs remain open and what the servicer has required in writing. That is what keeps ownership from becoming an unattended task while the family concentrates on care.

How Do You Keep a Parent’s Reverse Mortgage in Good Standing While Care Needs Change?